On my own - what do I do?

I spent a large part of my life in some interesting relationships, not necessarily useful for me and perhaps not for the other person, but interesting. Do you know why? Because I spent a large part of my life concentrating on what I didn’t want - and that’s exactly what I got! Several times.

And whilst writing some emails to my friend Jaclyn who now lives abroad, and telling her about what I have discovered in my life, she asked? “Why don’t you write a book about how you got this great relationship you have now? After all you’ve got something worth more than any money can buy and you can share with other people how to do it too!

So, here it is, a transcript of the emails I sent and she asked some questions, but I wrote it as a book. It also gives you some tried and tested tips on how to get what you want, what you really, really want, perhaps I’ll tell you about some of things I did that didn’t work out and how – with hindsight, I could have done things differently.
Let’s perhaps first cover some things that you might think get in the way, or that might be getting in your way and you might think they’re not really getting in the way. Well just a bit, maybe?

You’ve not got the best figure? (This covers by the way too short, too tall, too fat etc.)
You’re too old?
You haven’t got ……………………………..?
You have children.
You have grandchildren.
You have a ………………..(insert pet)
You have a ……………………… or are ……………………

We could go on…………….

However, beware;
If you have bad breath, a liking for drink, spicy foods, fetishes, horror movies and other things that other people might find a problem - you just might either need to find someone who likes exactly the same things or take other action first J

Important is - you are happy with yourself, so you have good self esteem, well most of the time, we might aspire to be perfect – perfect figure, perfect at cooking, making love, playing football, or whatever or we might not, but it’s really useful if most of the time we can be happy with ourselves.

So my story is, latterly widowed mum of 2 grown up children, granny to 2 beautiful boys (hey they’re my grandsons ), like reading, like films, like jazz, like to cook and reckon I can do it pretty well, like to swim, like to make things (when I find the time), I speak a second language fluently, ride a motorbike occasionally, I know lots about losing weight, I know lots of things (not often useful to most people ) and most important I think, is that I like people and what makes them tick. Downsides, opinionated, I will say what I think (doh), and sometimes I’m starting to sound like my mother. According to some people I can’t sing, according to others I can, according to some people I might be all sorts of things. But that’s life.

Now I know I’m good at my job, in part because I get personal satisfaction from what I do, and I see other people benefiting from what I do and I hear what they say, and I get really good feelings when I read some of things people write about me and my work (not always – I’m human you know). I also know I’m good at my job because other people tell me, sometimes it’s the clients I work with, sometimes it’s my peers and assistants, sometimes someone tells me they’ve heard something good about me, and how what I did with them worked for them and sometimes it took them a while for that to work for them.

In that last paragraph I wrote about the fact that sometimes I know myself that something has been good –
Do you know yourself that something went well, or do you need someone or other people to tell you that something went well or show you in some way?
There’s no right or wrong but it is useful to know and check. If you’re always telling yourself you’re good at something, you might be wrong sometimes and also other people might regard you as being “full of yourself”, or “not interested in other people” or something else, so might it be useful to notice other people and ask their opinion. You know, ask a mate, phone a friend, or ask the audience. And hell that’s really useful if you want a relationship, to notice what other people’s opinions of you are, as we might need to see things from our new or prospective partner’s point of view, or hear what they are saying, and notice that they have feelings too!

and there'll be more;)