Getting Out There

What do you want, in respect of this relationship?
Remember to be positive, concentrate on what you want.
Are you willing to start this and are you able to take control of the situation?

Where do you want to have this relationship?
I mean here check out would you be willing to move, town, country (I met a young woman who gave up her relationship [with the father of her child] because she missed her mum and dad and her friends when her partner’s job moved him and her to the south of England from Scotland).
Is there anywhere where you wouldn’t want to have this relationship? Same applies here; will you be okay living in a Yurt?

What will you see when you have this relationship? (Repeating yourself is good it adds to the practice).

What will you hear when you have this relationship?

What will you feel when you have this relationship?

How will you know when you have this relationship?

Is it appropriate for you to have a relationship right now? Are you in a good place with yourself? If you have children, what are you going to do about them? You do need time for you, but you also need time to get to know the other person and it’s best for the children that you sort your relationship out first before introducing your new partner to the children, too many people going in and out of children’s lives is sometimes not useful for the children.
So will it look right, sound right and feel right. If it’s not the right time at the moment, then can you set a mini outcome so that you will know what to do to as a stepping stone on the way to this relationship?

What do you get out of what you do right now?

Will you need to change what you are doing?
What will you lose? When someone else is around we lose some of things we used to take for granted (someone else in the bathroom, we might have to give some things up). Are you willing and able to compromise? Can you make compromises and negotiate for the other person to do to compromise and negotiate if necessary? Give and take is good, some of the time.

How will this relationship affect other aspects of your life?

Who and what else will it affect? Will you become so immersed in this relationship that you neglect others, drop your other friendships?

It’s a good idea to keep up the things you used to do and to keep your friends and family, because you never know what might happen.

Are there any conditions under which you wouldn’t want to go ahead with your partner search or a relationship when you’ve got it? You can be better off on your own than in a bad relationship.

What stops you having from having this desired relationship?
Check you have all the skills you need, you’ve sorted out the past, you’ve got a good and resourceful state, you’ve decided on some places to go to get to know people, oh yes and you’ve started standing up straight and smiling at people. Did I mention that? This standing up to any people. When you look good and get a good response from other people, hey presto, people will like to be around you, unless they prefer to be miserable.


Do you need anything else to start on this search?

What do you need to believe to have this relationship? Do you need to work on changing your beliefs? There’s a little more on that later.

What will having this relationship say about you? Will other people notice? Is it important that other people notice?

What will you say about you? Tell yourself that you can do it? You knew all along it was possible.

So when will you start?
And what will your first step be? (As in what will you do first?)