Practising for what you want to attract into your life is good

Is there something you would like really to do that you can’t do, yet? In terms of relationships we often refuse to believe that something will happen, we tell ourselves its impossible, it doesn’t happen to me, I don’t deserve that. And guess what? It doesn’t happen, it is impossible, and we don’t get it, because that’s what we tell ourselves and it becomes reality.

So if we want something different, it’s useful to practise. Otherwise how will we actually know when that special thing we want in a relationship comes along? We might blink and miss it. Or miss it and our partner or that possible significant other goes away, or passes by or just doesn’t do that thing again, because we were too busy ‘looking the other way’ – the negative way.

Acting “As if” as a frame is a way of rehearsing something that you want to happen in the future or you want to attract into your life. In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) this is called expanding our map (Map of the World) by doing this in our mind it expands the choices available to us. By doing this we condition our brain to feel and learn new possibilities.

How would you like to think, feel, speak, behave, relate etc.? What would you like to experience for the first time or experience more fully? Think about this experience and see what you will see, hear what you will hear and feel how you will feel, how vivid and real does it seem?

When you have all of this in your mind, step into this either in your mind’s eye or step into a space on the floor. Can you give yourself permission to use your powers of mind and emotion to pretend?
If you cannot give yourself permission -Has pretending been forbidden in your life, tabooed, or attached to psychological pain (for example "Pretending is for children", "Why don't you grow up and stop being unrealistic?", "Pretending is just faking")? Do you need to give yourself permission a few more times so you can try some new patterning and responses? Is it OK to feel “weird”, strange, uncomfortable, and out of your comfort zone? Do you also have permission to play?

When you have all of this, design an “As-if” frame and step into it fully, either in your mind’s eye, or literally. Construct a mental movie for the experience.
Pretend now that you are stepping into that experience. What are you hearing, feeling and saying to yourself? How are you experiencing all of that in your body? What would someone else see as they look at you?



Check this out - from inside the experience, how does it feel? Will it be useful? Will you be able to respond better as a person? Is this empowering for you in what you want? Does it open up new possibilities?

Now step out of the experience, and check that the experience is right for you with these questions -

Will this affect your other relationships (family, friends, work colleagues etc.)
Will this affect your health?
Will this affect your sanity etc.?

Now think about this new way of thinking, feeling, acting etc. and move forwards with it into your future and go forward one year .... how does that feel? ………… five years how does that feel? Do you like that?

Do you like the possible benefits and consequences of this experience?
How many more times will you need to give yourself permission to keep experimenting with it, stepping into it, and practising all of this until you forget that you are pretending as it becomes your habitual style of responding?

So keep on with this opening yourself up to possibilities and one day as long as you keep on believing, you will avoid the problems of the past, keep away from those troublesome relationships and attract what you really want and deserve into your life!

The 2nd edition of Finding the Relationship you Deserve is out now - buy from NLP Highland or your local bookstore.