Being okay with being you

Or having self-esteem, my friend Lucy asked me to write something about self-esteem and about how to happy with yourself. So I thought I would mention this in this separate section, although I do make references to being okay with being you in various places. Have you noticed them as you’ve been reading?

So what does it mean, well it’s about knowing that you can survive and be happy without a partner, so I don’t need a man to be a whole person, I can exist without a man in my life, that is one to live with or be a partner with. In spite of my friend Monica telling me I see you as being in/needing a relationship. Well only if it doesn’t drain me/wear me out, do I want to be in a good relationship. And I want that relationship to be good. Good for me and good for my partner.

So if this person you meet says things that you don’t like, picks on you because of your size, your accent, the fact you are a little afraid of something, the fact you don’t like something, then say I don’t like that, that upsets me, I feel unhappy about that, I feel insecure. And if they laugh at you or pick on you even more or just won’t let it drop, then it’s time to leave, refuse to see them again.

Never allow someone in a relationship, let alone in a relationship you want to have, to persuade you to do something you feel uncomfortable with, unhappy about, you know is wrong (even if they disagree). No-one is worth spending time with if they tell you “you would do that if you liked me”, “show me how much you love me and do ……..”, “you can’t possibly like me/love me because ……………” anything like that is blackmail and manipulation. People do things for other people because they want to, of their own free will, because they like the other a person.

A lot of people end up in bad relationships because they think “they’ll never have another chance”, “they’re too old, fat, thin”, “there’s no-one of my own sex, faith, race,” “I’ll go just this once, it’ll be okay,” “I’ll do it, it’ll be okay, nothing will happen,” or anything of that kind.
So remembering the things you can do, from your list, and remembering that you know to create a good and resourceful state, and be in the present and you can cope with your baggage from the past. Then you can now breathe deeply and stand tall and face the world, being kind, and at the same time firm, and have good self-esteem.